"The Warrior Is A Child"

I had a rather interesting learning experience about myself this afternoon. I had my nose in my novel I about a wedding planner who is losing her hope in the magic of love and the super hot NHL player who can’t let anyone in this afternoon, and I found myself disgusted. Page 60 and we’re really falling in love?! Please. I cannot handle pushovers. Not only was their falling in love too easy, but his confession of his love to her was hardly warm enough to melt the ice he stakes on much less the reader’s! Another thing. I have grown up with manly men so I understand, somewhat, how men think or don’t think rather, and I guarantee our hockey player was not thinking about the girl during the first game of the Stanley Cup. Women who write books like this DO NOT know the last thing about a man in the heat of competition. I just could not take this seriously.

Are you hearing this? This is honestly the conversation I was having in my head while reading this afternoon. This is not how hopeless romantics read books- I know this- so I am having somewhat of an identity crisis. My brothers are not going to believe me, but I think I might be a lot more rational than I ever thought.

While I am not at liberty to discuss this in detail, things at the hospital are in a bit of an upheaval right now. We are experiencing unrest driven by greed and selfishness in which ultimately the innocent will suffer from. It is wrong on so many levels. If you are a praying person, I would beg you to keep the hospital, Dr. Jean and the people of Saboba who will suffer from this in your prayers. I know that God is notorious for making something great out of awful experiences, especially when change is needed, and that just might be what will happen in Saboba.  

I do not like what I feel right now. I feel distrust. I feel disappointment and anger, and I feel myself callusing because there are people here who Dr. Jean and consequently myself, have trusted that causing all these problems. How much more Dr. Jean feels… The injustice I see here is overwhelming, and I feel myself slipping into my own reality because I literally cannot comprehend why people do some of the things they do. Some things you cannot believe until you see them with your own eyes, and even then, you still cannot believe it.

I forgot to mention yesterday that we were graced with a visit from one of the chiefs, which was a really big deal. Kristi and I just stared at him during his visit with Dr.  Jean, in awe of how cool it was that a chief was sitting in our living room. He had gotten word of all this and came to get the scoop from Dr. Jean. I have liked this man from the first time I met him. He is very wise and very good at managing people. He is exactly who you want on your side during times like these. It’s all about who you know.
However, there is beauty in struggle. There are so many examples of this in nature, in life and in relationships. Greatness is never achieved without overcoming adversity. It is an opportunity to grow, to stretch and let God mold you into something better. This is not new to me as I have experience this before, like every day of my college basketball career (!!), God’s peace in amidst chaos. It’s like I am standing in the middle of an intersection with cars and trucks blowing by and angry gust of wind swirling around me and yet nothing can hit me. I am safe, enveloped in the quiet, strong arms of peace.

I was doing rounds today with Kristi- all of our patients are doing well by the way! The miracle, ectopic lady is doing so well, and I smile the whole time I am at her bed. Our cholera patient went home today! I walked by his room, just to peek my head in and he was sitting up on the edge of his bed. He saw me, smiled his huge, white Ghanaian smile and waved. I was so relieved. Obviously, I have no experience with cholera other than the movie “The Painted Veil” which is very good by the way, but apparently, fluids and the same antibiotic I am taking for an anti-malarial work like a charm. You can recover just as quickly if it is not at an advanced stage as it can take your life. Cholera, stay away from Saboba.

I was the most grossed out today as I have ever been… ever. It made me feel better knowing that Dr. Jean, in her 30 years of surgery had never seen anything like it either. Because I know there are people reading this who are not fascinated with gross things like I am, I will try and be lady-like about this. However, if you want more details, email me because I would love to elaborate.

We had just finished rounds in the female ward with Dr. Jean who had JUST arrived when we saw a woman being wheeled in, curled over one side, moaning in agonizing pain. Dr. Jean called it from the distance. She had some kind of prolapse, and it was bleeding everywhere. We hoisted the poor woman on the bed and took a look… it was just awful. An absolute disaster. Dr. Jean suspected she had polyp burst in addition to an anal prolapse, and it was bleeding so profusely, I had to run and grab a suture kit for Dr. Jean who had to sew her on the bed and put things back in their rightful position...  with not anesthesia of any kind. It was brutal. It was estimated she had lots maybe 5 liters of blood in only a few hours. We had to ship her to Tamale because it was so severe. Thank GOD Dr. Jean arrived when she did…

I hit a brick wall at about 11 o’clock this morning shortly after this incident. I was nearly asleep standing up and my stomach felt queasy. I couldn’t chance this so I left.“Oh no no no you are not getting sick!!” I told myself as I walked home. I was convinced I could sleep this off. I woke up, sweating of course, two hours later and felt so much better. I do not know what that was all about, but I am so very thankful it did not escalate. I cannot afford to get sick here. There is too much to do!

 Tomorrow we will be an interesting day, as it is expected much of this hospital stuff will come to a head, so keep us in your prayers over here.

There are many of you I am praying for too. Our issues here are no bigger than yours, and I would encourage you to find the same peace I have found. It is there waiting for you. You do not have to fight the battles you are fighting by yourself. God will do that for you and give you peace on all sides. And if you are fighting, it is ok to set down your sword and cry. It doesn’t mean you are not strong, it means you feel because your ability to love. I had to call home yesterday and do just that, and my mom sent me this song a dear friend of ours used to sing:

Unafraid because His armor is the best

But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest

People say that I'm amazing

Never face retreat

But they don't see the enemies

That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down

They don't know who picks me up when no one is around

I drop my sword and cry for just a while

'Cause deep inside this armor

The warrior is a child