To The Girls

FYI- this past three entries have not been proofed. Sorry!

I was up bright and early to finalize my contribution to this morning’s program. Jonah came over at 8 to get me and we walked to Comfort’s office. The program was scheduled to start at 8:30 Ghana time, so by the time we relocated venues and set up enough desks and benches under a grove of nim trees, it was nearly 9:30. No problem. I had shade and good company so I had nothing to complain about.

Jonah had stopped by the house to have tea with us before we left. As we were walking over to the Comfort’s office, I told Jonah I wondered the outcome of this was. I meant that I felt slightly ill-prepared because I had no idea what was going on, and that I was just hoping that this would do some good. He, in classic Jonah fashion, told me a story of a man who gave a really amazing sermon followed by an alter call. No one came, and he was saddened and couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He had failed. Years later, there was a crippled man who came calling. He told him he had been at the service he had preached at all those years ago and God had used him to change his life. He gave his heart to the Lord that night, but because he was crippled, he could not make it down to the alter. Since that day, he had devoted his life to loving Jesus and had led many to the God’s love. The preacher never saw results and thought he had failed, when in fact he had not. Jonah reminded me that I just need to be faithful with what God has given me and plant a seed though I may never see it grow. Even it’s for one person, it’s worth it.

Thanks Jonah.

I heard laughter in the distance coming from behind me. I turned around to see a group of girls crossing the field with the morning sun shining around them. They were beautiful. The stark white and royal blue uniforms stood out against their dark, rich skin as they sashayed in time across the trodden, dusty field. It reminded me of that scene from “Catch Me If You Can” when Leo’s character walks down the terminal escorted by a troop of gorgeous flight attendants, four off of each arm. They were mesmerizingly beautiful in their matching dress.

Comfort decided to start even though all the girls were not there. She also looked fantastic. Her favorite color is green also, and she was wearing a full length green dress. I was surprised at the way she started, but I think it is somewhat of a cultural thing. I personally would not have begun by reprimanding them, but she did it with love and humor, of which they responded to. She discussed their poor performance in school and related it back to their behavior outside of school. In the fifteen years the high schools have been in Saboba, not a single girl has gone straight from high school into university. If she goes at all, it will be years later after she has retaken exams she didn’t pass the first time or after her baby is old enough to be away from its mother.

Not one girl.

I don’t even know why I feel shock anymore. It’s like I am maladaptive or something.

She introduced me as medical student (I don’t bother correcting them anymore) who is interested in not only their education but their physical and emotional well-being. In short, I gave them a major pep talk. They didn’t need any more slaps on the hands. I made it very clear that I wasn’t talking to them as an authority figure but as a friend and a sister who cares. I told them they were meant for so much more than the life they are living now. I wanted them to tell me their dreams and what they wanted out of their lives, and know that they can do it. I reminded them that no matter what they have done or has been done to them, there is always hope and forgiveness. I briefly touched on healthy relationships since I have been told by several adults here that dating goes like this: boy meets girl. Sex. They might even get to know each other if they guy decides to stay with the girl. Most of them have no education in this department so they literally have no idea what they are doing to their bodies. There were so many more things we could have talked about, which is why our next plan of action is to visit each school so we can meet in smaller groups.

After I was done talking, she asked the girls what they had learned.

It took a few minutes, but one girl raised her hand and stood once called upon.

“Madam, I learned that we can be successful and hold on to our dreams.”

“Madam, I learned that “friending” (as they say here- awkward) boys will not help me with school.”

“Madam, I learned she wants to be our friend.”

Most were very shy, but once Jonah took over, that all changed. They only way I can describe to you how amazing this man is to catch him in action and show you myself. I didn’t have my big camera with me but I did have my little one and caught a few seconds of him talking to the girls.

He’s just so good. Such an inspiring, uplifting speaker, and he understands the environment these girls are in and what they are up against. He also knows they were meant for so much more. He brings so much passion and energy to the crowd. He walked through the girls and made a few of them tell the audience what they have always wanted to be.

“A nurse.” Jonah would get so excited and tell the other girls to clap for her, which they did loudly as they laughed.

He went to several different girls and these are the answers I heard: several nurses, doctors and teachers, a president and other government officials, and a lawyer. I learned later the girl who said she wanted to be a lawyer, who is very bright, has two babies at the age of 17.

I wish I could have recorded this whole thing so I could listen to this for all my days. He talked to them specifically about what these boys are doing and basically how to say “no” because they don’t know how. I’m sure this sounds a little ridiculous to you because something like this wouldn’t fly in the U.S. because no one in our country is that blunt and few are this clueless about the effects of their behavior.

We had questions after he was done talking and some of the ones stuck in my mind where these:

“How do I say no to a boy who won’t leave me alone?”

“My parents died in 2008 and now I live my auntie, but she can’t pay for my school anymore so there is no other way I can get money other than be with a man. What am I to do?”

“If I say no to a boy who is helping me with school, he won’t help me learn anymore. What do I do?”

The lack of emotion and feeling I saw in their faces and heard in their voices as nothing short of eerie.

Jonah talked the girls through their questions with help from Comfort and input from the other girls. I sat there, stunned at what I was hearing.

The meeting ended with a closing prayer from Jonah and a formal thank you from one of the girls and thanked every single one of us who participated, “Thank you to the white lady for coming from America to see us.” That cracked me up. Am I really “lady” status now? Oh dear…

There are so many formal protocols here, so we were obligated to stop by the director, Big Daddy Phil’s office, to say thank you for allowing us to speak to the girls today. He said he had been really disappointed in the response he got from the community from his very explicit, verbal lashing at the March Pass. He said he thought someone, maybe a few parents would approach him about this issue, but I was the only one.

Comfort took Jonah and I to a “drinking spot” where I had been one other time with Jonah. It is such a nice place to sit, and she ordered drinks for us. They have a drink called Alvaro here and it’s like sparkling cider with a little different flavor, and it’s so good. The man brought them to us, popped the tops off and we raised our bottles.

“To the girls” Comfort said.

“To the girls.”

They were very pleased with how the morning went. Nothing like this had ever been done before. We discussed our next plan of action, as I mentioned to you previously, and went our separate ways. Comfort wants to start a girls club and I am helping her think of a name a motto. I love this kind of stuff!

I have had this dream for a long time to have a huge house someday where girls could stay if they needed. Nothing organized necessary, but just have the availability to do that for girls who needed it. On our way back, Jonah started telling me that he has had this dream for a long time to build a hostile, a safe place, for these girls who come to school. If you are lucky enough to pass JHS and get into high school, your name goes into a computer you are told where you go to high school. You don’t have a choice. The government makes that for you. Why? So the rich kids can’t get a better education than those who do not have money, consequently everyone is suffering because some aren’t being taught. They dread placements here because the school you end up in determines if you will amount to anything. Kids who come to Saboba just have to except that they probably won’t make it into university.

FYI- being in Ghana is the worst thing that could have happened to bring me back to the middle of the road in a political sense. I cannot wait for the 2012 elections and neither can the Ghanaians. Our presidents have too much in common and it’s just not working for either country.

I tell you all that to say that there are students who come from all over Ghana to attend school here but they have no place to stay. There is no dormitory or housing of any kind, and it is up to them to find a place to stay. Fathers, imagine your daughters being in this situation. It’s terrible. This is largely why they get caught up in risky business. Jonah has been dreaming of this hostile and has already bought land to build one, and knows God will provide it in His time.

I can’t stop thinking about this and how I could help, and I think this whole experience in Saboba, especially with these girls, is going to have lasting effects on me that I couldn’t possibly predict at this point.  I couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the big house I always wanted…

Joe and I took Kristi to her first Saboba market day that afternoon. Tooooooo hot, so we can back to rest. Aggie came over later to make us dinner as Bob and Dr. Jean are both gone in Tamale. She made jolof which is like Spanish rice, and it was delish. It was fun having a quiet night in with Kristi. Trinity joined us after we were eating and we talked for a few hours. Needless to say we did not get any math done, but we had such a good time.

I will write more about this later. I am so tired of being on a computer. It’s too hot to be near any kind of machine that generates even the slightest bit of heat. I’m not even proofing this for the same reason, so if this was some of the worst grammar or syntax you have ever seen, my sincerest apologies.

Also, they OR boys have discovered facebook and think it is the coolest. They "browse" on their phones (I know... it surprises me too) and they are SO cool, so I have semi-reluctantly accepted three friend requests and God only knows what they will write on my wall!