Sweet little baby

I.

AM.

SO.

HOT!!!!!!!!!!

Today- not the best day of my life. These days happen- I know this, but I still don't like them.

I have been having some trouble finding my place here- more like feeling like I’m not really contributing medically though making lots of friends. I knew I’d feel like that though. If I ever was tempted to not go back to school after taking a year off, which I wasn’t,  but my experience the last five days has provided more motivation than anything yet.

It was just a frustrating day for that reason, so I decided to try and make myself useful after our surgeries today and went over to the female ward. Bryn’s suggestion was to have the midwives, Sister Stella and Margaret (awesome), call me whenever there were deliveries and she would give me a crash course on OB. I really loved this notion so I that’s what I was going to do. There was a baby that was born earlier that day and was in the incubator in the room across the hall. Stella took me in to show me this MAYBE 24 week old baby that could not have been more than two and half pounds. I was a bit perplexed as to why they weren’t doing anything about and where the heck the mother was. Well, this child’s early entry into this world was induced by a clinic in a nearby town that performs “criminal abortions” as they call them here and came to Saboba to deliver.

All this information came at me way too fast.

The mother thought the baby was dead as was the plan, but she had no interest in seeing it even when she was informed the baby was still alive. I do not want to portray the nurses and midwives did not care- one of my favorites Jacob, a tall and kind boy, was deeply saddened and stood in the room with me for a while. But I have not seen anything like this before. In the States, that baby may have had a fighting chance in a newborn ICU for weeks on end, but not here. Death was imminent. This child would never know a mother’s loving touch, so I picked it up out of the incubator and held its cold, frail little body as close to me as I could. Its fingers wrapped around my thumb, so tiny that the four fingers were only big enough to enclose my thumbnail and slightly beyond.

I shed my first tears today in Saboba. I felt pain so deep and yet it is only a fraction of what God feels. Anger, sadness, injustice and confusion all at once. I started praying, for what I don’t know. Perhaps a miracle.

It was a boy.

On a lighter note, I really do enjoy the OR gang as we have had many good conversations. We have so much to learn from one another. They ask about America, PA school, family and somehow I got on my anti-obesity kick. They don’t really have that problem here so this was of particular interest to them. It was very amusing. However, I am sad for these boys… I say boys but they are men. Richard is 37 and looks 27 and the others are 25-32. They look like boys and are sweet like them. They are so smart and there “higher education” is so faulty here. If someone would just teach them… Oh I wish I knew more!! Alex (another favorite as he dances all the time) told Bryn he wants to know everything in her head before she leaves.

Pastor Jonah came over tonight and we had our second lesson this evening, which went quite well! He is just brilliant. I cannot believe his contextual grasp on English. He explains things very thoroughly to me and is so patient- key when learning an African tribal language:)

I know I have said this before, but I can say enough good things about Dr. Morris and Bryn. They are wonderful and really a phenomenal team. They do so much for these people and are so kind to them. I think I have seen enough hernias to do them myself… not really, but they are difficult to understand from a surgical repair perspective, so Bryn has kindly drawn me some pictures. On that note, I am very glad that people here have no shame when it comes to their bodies so they are never embarrassed, which makes me not embarrassed thus maintaining the “I know exactly what I’m doing because I’ve seen this a million times look.” Turn your head and cough... I get it now.

A lizard just ran across the wall...

Dr. Nick and I took a lovely stroll down the streets of Saboba this even. Bryn, bless her heart, was exhausted and went to bed early. We walk in the mornings and the evenings. It is the best thing for us physically and emotionally. There is hundreds of little hands waving, white teeth flashing, and the cutest laughs you have ever heard that follow us wherever we go.. It’s so rejuvenating.

Bedtime again. I hope you all had enjoyable Super Bowl parties and maybe missed me a little:)

Pray for strength and wisdom. Saboba is an interesting place.

Much love